Moon Geun Young's Waiting Mind
The day before the interview, I turned on tv.
She laughed, and was a pretty good gamer.
In front of the 'Superman'[:Kin, Jong-Kuk] whom she has liked since she was young,
she blushed, and kept fanning herself with her hands.Realizing who was the 'X-man',
a frustrated look came over her face as if she was actually betrayed.
The reason why I enjoy watching this tv program is the very expression of many stars.
After all, running, rolling over, chasing make them reveal their 'true self'.
Even if it is not perfect 'true self', but at least at that moment that's real.
How long since I've seen her laughing aloud, showing veins on her forehead?..
Starting acting early in her life, her acting has ranged over a wide field
including a girl, a lady, or a great actress, and an example.
In the meantime, she became a 'moral avatar'.
People cannot even imagine to live like her, but perhaps they, at least,
want her not to be an (bad or could be bad) adult.However,
when such a burden of 'moral avatar' (beyond just good deeds)
violates her professional territory, then it could be a problem.
In addition, she is always devoted to exploring herself[reflect on herself].
Thus, such public eyes may make her hard to do her best[=It could be a burden to her].
Therefore, one clear thing we can notice from this tv show is just that
she is laughing happily right now.
철학적이건, 섹시하건, 올바르건, 그런 판단이나 정의, 짐작 따위를 모두 무마시켜버리는 그 자체로서의 문근영.
No matter what judgement that she is philosophical, sexy, or exemplary,
in front of her, everything is nothing.
그리고 그날 밤, 인터넷에서 이런 덧글을 보았다.
"우린, 문근영이 예쁘다는 걸 잠시 잊고 살았다."
그녀의 존재에 대한 무명씨의 '깨달음'에 동의하는 바, 촬영 내내 난 요하네스 베르메르의 작품
'진주귀고리를 한 소녀'의 주인공처럼 고개를 떨어뜨린 문근영이 그간'무엇을 생각하며 살았는지'
궁금해서 더 기다릴 수 없는 상태가 됐다.
And at that night, I saw a internet comment: We, for a while, have forgotten that
she is beautiful. Agreeing with him, 촬영 내내 난 요하네스 베르메르의 작품 '진주귀고리를 한 소녀'의
주인공처럼 고개를 떨어뜨린 문근영이 그간'무엇을 생각하며 살았는지' 궁금해서 더 기다릴 수 없는 상태가 됐다.
[<-I skip or delay this sentence.. not that important for you..]
- - - - - - INTERVIEW BODY - - - - - - - DCBH.NET - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Q : 보통 배우들은 자기 이야기를 할 수 있는 방송 프로그램을 택한다.
요즘 토크쇼가 성황을 누리는 이유도 그런 것일 테고. 그런데 오랜만에 나오면서 본인 이야기는 전혀 안 하고
내내 달리는 프로그램을 택한 이유가 궁금했다.
Q: Usually, actors choose tv programs in which he can talk about himself,
which also is a factor of the talk show boom.But you chose another show
in which you run and run and run without any talk about yourself. I wonder why.
A: At one point, I came to be scared of talking about myself.
Even when I worked, I tend to avoid such talk to some extent.And I thought
I'm not that exprienced enough to talk about my values, dreams or somethin.
You know, a human being changes as he grows up. At one moment
I thought this is right, but after a while, 'Why did I say like that?'.
So, one thing led to another, I became afraid.
In addition, 'Running Man' is my favorite TV-show even though I don't watch tv, well,
so I accepted the proposal. Btw, now that I said like this, I cannot recognize the
relation between your question and this. (laugh)
Q: In the previous Bazaar interview, you said
"While I lived as an actress, however, I couldn't live my life."
And you took a rest after a little bit, naturally it formed a causal relationship.
How have you been?
A: At that time, I had fallen into kind of a self-pity.
Even though I have a job many people envy,
I had fallen into a thinking like 'It's not as good job as you envy'
so I thought that there's no my own life, and that I'm the most pitiful[=poor, unhappy] person
in the world. (laugh)
Of course, however, after that, at one time, I used to identify myself with the variety of
lives I met in the works[dramas].
I seemed not all bad to stuff the life of Moon Guen-young with acting,
so I enjoyed it.
But, also I felt some futility[=mihility, nothingness,.vacant feeling.. '허무']
at the end of such effort.
It's like 'what did I do until now?,,' 'how and what should I do..' ,
'who am I?,,' , even 'what is acting?'..
In this way, I kinda wandered a little bit.
Q: Would it be fair to say that your wandering off course has led to taking a rest for
2 years involuntarily?
A. But I didn’t seem to be hurting or worrying about it seriously.
Instead, I was idling my time.
I didn’t study something hard or had swinging times.
I could have started activities (as an actress) if I wanted to do so, and I did try.
I have to say that who knows what’s going to happen,
[=No one knows what's going to happen]
which means that there are things that (could) go awry unexpectedly.
Through such a process, I happened to lose my self-confidence and
to confine myself in my own castle.
[ : This question and the answer were translated by 헤요미는진리 횽. Thanks!]
Q: What made you change your mind to come back in to the show business?
A: During my long absence I suddenly felt like a limp noodle and all gloomy.
I've isolated myself too long from the outside world,
so began naturally to think to make more appearance (to the world).
I don't know whether there is an apparent reason to that or not.
(Paradoxical) Maybe it's because I was filled with all knowledge that I turned my back
and lived inside myself to empty those, but it could be that because it was so full that
it made me came back in to the world to loosen my load.
[: This q&a was translated by 장화양이 횽 Thanks!!]
Q :The balance of life is instinctively controlled.
Would living be a process that enlightens the laws of nature?
When sometimes, things don't work out, you must take a rest.
Sometimes, having a gap (in your life) isn't that bad at all.
A: I've realized that recently.
I used to discomfort myself with many worries and concerns.
Even when times everything went great, I couldn't enjoy it.
I was always worried about the fact that I'd lose everything what I had anyway,
and such concern, discomfort made me rather work even harder and harder.
But at least now I come to think why I had lived like that, chased by the anxieties made by myself.
From now on, I'll try not to be now glad now sad, but to look further and have a wider view of life.
Such thinking will be helpful for me than thinking of I can or can't do something right now.
This way I will be able to speak of "later", have a future, and to make this future
I will have goal or dream whatsoever to achieve it.
Due to thinking, I have time to spare and I am enjoying my life nowadays.
[:This q&a was translated by 장화양이 횽 Thanks!!]
Q: I guess you had a good time, reading, watching movies, and listening musics, etc.
A.Not that much. I was just absentminded. Confining myself to my room, I thought about
everything including every trivial(trifling) matters.
Reading was also the same. The more sentences I read, the more related ideas I consider,
so that I can't read further[=anymore].
And watching movie is also the same. Because I watch movies alone in home,
I immersed myself into it too much, which was not good.
At first, doing nothing was good to itself. I mean there's no sway of emotion,
no spur[=stimulation, stimulus... in bad meaning...somethin making her upset ],
..it was just perfect restful.
Q. As I think that an actor is[should be] one who burns his heart and act by the energy,
I agree your thinking that it's impossible to maintain such restful condition.
Meanwhile, however, there could be some intereting memories.
A. I had been in New-york for about 2 months.
In the forenoon, I studied English, then I kept walking down streets in Manhatten, walking,
sightseeing, and took rests..., routinely.
Sometimes I watched performances. And I came to know the fun of drinking.
Everynight, I cooked in home, tasted wine and champagne.. ,it was so interesting.
Also I kinda enjoyed campus life. I hold[=celebrated, performed] Teacher's Day celebration
for the first time in my life, went a club-initiation
[=kind of a university trip. Korean university students, usually in departments, go regular
trips every year. It's like a company retreat. Korean wrong expression : MT(엠티)]
, and had drunk with friends when gloomy days.
Q: It's routine but something actors in your age would be very envy. How did it feel?
A: Oh, I'm in my youth. I had such thinking for the first time
:I now seem to be twinkling very much like a shiny star.
It's true that I felt vacant[=absentminded] to some extent, but in fact,
Such awareness was also possible because I felt alive , at every moment.
Through such process, [I felt] that I'm alive as Moon Guen Young...
Q: You had appeared on "Cinderella's Sister" and after that, the play"Closer", and right after
that 'Marry Me, Mary'. When someone is crazily busy like that, he comes to have less time to think,
but comes to feel something instinctive[본능적인] about himself.
A. To be honest, I was so excited at that time. Everything was my free will.
At the time before I start "Cinderella's Sister", I got to change my mind from
'I can't have my own life in my works' to something other than it,
and, drived on by the vigor and energy, I did several more works.
Q. Were there some differences in your mind between when you act in file and after a long rest?
A. Oh, I talked with my manager about it anyway. 'It begins from now on, isn't it? [이제부터 시작아닌가]'
Let's do something really, like an actor! ..something like that..
In the previous time, I used to care for people's expectations whatever I do.
Satisfying them was the biggest burden to me.
But, now, I don't have that much. This time, even if it doen't work [=not satisfying]
or people are disappointed, so? what's wrong with that? , and I'll just
do start another work.
Q: I saw the word 'start', on your mini-hompy [her personal website.]
Also I read the poem 'Self-Portrait' written by Yoon, Dong-Ju [which is posted on there].
It's also my favorite, and since it is posted on Moon's space, I came to see such phrases
'I turned back from whom I come to hate, but pity, long for, so come back.. ', differently.
[Plz find and read the poem 'Self-Portrait' written by Yoon, Dong-Ju. I recommend it.]
A. It struck a chord with me since it describes the most honest [=frank]aspect of a human being.
You know, as we are human beings, we don't want to be aware of some bad things of ourselves.
Something wrong of myself, someone who has a bad feeling for me.. something like that..
Indicating myself is difficult. Yes, we say 'I'm incapable[=not satisfactory 부족하다]' but that's just 'saying.'
Subconsciously, we tend to rationalize myself to think that I have something better...
When I read the poem, the first thing came across my mind was it. Myself I don't want to recognize.
Q. Does it make you see the new character in 'Cheong-Dam Dong Alice', differently?
A. I wanted to do express this character, well.
Seriously, it's not a arrogant, but I mean 'I'm the only one who can do this',
'this is just for me', like this. That made me chose it.
But still I think :'wasn't it my misjudge?' 'Isn't it self-rationalization, again? ' ..
Isn't it also possible for other actors?
Isn't it my justification that I and only I can do this?
I couldn't help thinking such thing.
Q. You have been an actress since '가을동화' in 2000.
The 'start' might be a little bit strange, isn't it?
A.Neither that I worked not eagerly nor it was not my sincerity [:★],
nevertheless, now is kind of a turning point to me.
At least now I have a goal that I want to achieve.
Q. Right now, what do you mean by 'the goal'?
A. I want to live for myself. Not just that 'Ah, I just live for my own self'
but that I want to be the subject of all things including my hardness,
sadness, pleasure, and joy, etc.
In this vein, acting is also my favorite, and the 'favorite' makes me
want to do better,..
Previously, I just liked what I like, and hated what I hate..
Q. You seem like do control the energy well,
don't you think that you'r growing up ?
A. I don't want to be grown up. (laugh)
Q. It's 26, you can't avoid it, 어쩌지? (laugh) Long time ago,
as you said, the movie director Kim, Ji-Woon had asked
"What the hell kind of the past made your eyes this sad?"
, seeing your eyes when you were even younger.
Now that you see eyes of yourself, how do you feel?
A. 'became muddy[=hazy? darkened? blurred? 탁하다] a lot.' (laugh)
You laugh. But seriously. That's something only I can notice.
In recent, when I saw my face, I felt somewhat strange.
A little bit ladylike change of my face,.
And it has been almost 2 years since I haven't exposed myself,
which is a long time, so people may recognize small change
about my appearance even bigger.
Q. Is it a glad change?
A. Frankly speaking, I wanted it to some extent.
Similarly, I came to keep off TV CF partly because of it ...
I thought[realized] advertisers want me as a specific image not as an actress.
I know it is natural for them to want me to act just lively, lovely[=cutesy?],
like a typical younger sister because it's a characteristic of tv cf.
However, as time goes by, I felt hard to do so.
It occured to me that 'Is it helpful for me to appeal the younger image to people,
continuously[=consistently?]? '
I often saw some actors doing their best to expand the range of his acting territory[=spectrum]
but some tv cf ruined it.
In addition, now we have a new pretty the nation's younger sister. (laugh)
[:Maybe Kim, Yu-na or, IU .. ]
Q. There has been no actress able to substitute the image of the nation's sister, yet.
You might have gained a lot from it, but might have lost a lot, also.
A.
At one time, I had thought 'Oh I'm gonna crazy because of this!'
but now I think it also made current myself. [:★]
If there was no such nickname, I might have no next work after that, and after.
Now I don't want to avert[=deny..] these factors that made me at now[지금의 나].
If I have to manage[=handle? embrace? accept?] it, then I'll do so.
If I have to break away form it, also I'll do so.
Q. What kind of subject did you like in university?
A. All subjects such as philosophy, history, and literature.
I think it's because I like to understand, and think of something.
Actually, one of the reasons why I like acting is also that I'm intersted in
understanding[=sympathizing with]someone, expressing it so that
others also understand it.
I think, when it comes to acting, understanding her takes precedence.
After all, she is whom I have to 'make', but I mean
: how she has lived, what her thinking is and will be.. somethin like that..
Q. It makes sense. Literature is the easier version of philosophy,and the classic literature
that you stated is also the same as current movies or tv dramas.
In this vein, how do you see 'Se-Gyung' in 'Chung-Dam Dong Alice'?
A.Ordinary? Might be me, my friend, or anyone of us.
Maybe it's a rational story of a 26-year-old girl. I mean a girl who just graduated university
, tried hard, and finally got a job in several years.
I saw a news describing her as 'infinite-positive-girl', but as I understand,
she is close to 'finite-positive-girl'.
Q. A few days ago, I met Mr. Park, Sang-Yeoun, the creative director
[similar to a dramatist?], and he said
it'll be a romantic comedy including some social critical aspects.
In this aspect, I agree your 'finite-positive girl'. What do you think is the difference?
A.
She is not a typical character who is always just bright at everything.
When we see people, they just go through their own lives even if they are
lonely, sad, and hard. Why? because :[anyway we]can't die .
We just endure anyway, like 'anyway I can do it, must do it'
because there's tommorow.
I understand she is also the same, and I want to express it well.
So I hope people to watch it and cry, get angry, get annoyed,
swear profusely, get rid of stress, and be pleased because of this.
I wanna assimilate myself to their[ordinary people's] life rather than to
show something, this time.
Q. Though you said it's not that much comfortable to talking about yourself,
it's always interesting to talk with you.
[And] There should be differences between stories in your 19 and in 26.
Wouldn't it be weird if those are the same?
A.
The most scaring was : "You said blabla,before!" Because or not I've worked early,
I used to believed people too much. Then, I thought that people will come to recognize
my sincerity if I am always honest with them, but, going through some events[=circumstances],
I realized that it's impossible to be understood as much as I want no matter how I try.
It could be timid change or narrow-minded or something but, on the other hand,
I think maybe it's enough to be honest only with people I value.
Changed like that, I often thought 'Why do I have to?'
'What the hell are you curious about?'[=sorry for inappropriate translation of'뭐가 궁금한데요?' ]
'I'm not gonna tell you', something like that.. (laugh)
Q. The Venerable Beop-Ryul said "Forsake the wish 'to be loved by everyone'".
I agree it to some extent.
Even, I can't like everyone. ..
Anyway, how should you do for your happy life?
A.
Most important thing is me, I think.
It's more important that I feel happiness in the process , than what I should do.
There's a problem that the moment is very short, but whatever.
Previously, I had thought 'Why do I have to overcome unhappiness? Anyhow happiness is
very short[short-term].' 'For what people try to do something hardly? '
However, the answer was the very 'short-term happiness.'
Q. The photo shoot concept is 'a waiting lady'. How do you thik of the 'waiting for'?
A.
'Me free?[자유로운 나?]' (laugh) Not because the current situation, but because
that I want to be somewaht free[liberal] when it comes to other people including
people close to me in the neighborhood.
I would sooner be considered irresponsible, than be bound by something.
Recently, mom and grandma often worry about my marriage. I think I can't marry.
Yet, the image of marriage is a restraint to me. (laugh) Oh, yes.
Q. I know you are a intense-self-exploring actress. Right now, right here,
what is your answer of it?
[=What is the outcome[result]of the self-exploring?
=Who do you think you are? =How do you explain yourself? ,,,,, ]
A.
Very up and down, sensitive, .. I think the start[of the answer] is emotion.
In other words,, I feel something well, I'm transparent to express it, and very sensitive,
so come to very up and down,,
That's me at now, I think.
Q. What kind of 'woman' do you wanna be? Or 'actress' is also good.
A.
Ok. I choose 'woman.' I want to be loved entirely[=wholy,,완전히.온전히.] by a boy.
I hope to meet a guy who loves me as a woman or just myself perfectly,whatever I do.
So, I want to a woman who is given such a love.
And as an actress, I wanna be an actress who really enjoy it.
Sooo- interesting that I can't stand..
Q. Different to the precious interview.
As I remember your answer was an actor like actor[=actorlike actor] or something.
A.
That seemed cool [at that time].
Now I somewhat restrict the meaning of 'an actor' just to my job.
Rather than chasing[following] fantasy or an ideal, I just want be an actress enjoying my job.
Q. Now that such person acts, I'll appreciate your drama.
A.
Oh, I feel a burden.
Maybe I would regret this interview, thinking 'isn't it just rhetoric?'
Q. Why so serious? Even though, we have tommorows.
A.
You're right. I'll do the best. As much as I can. (laugh)
The End :-)
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